I
was having lunch with my friend Bob, we have lunch every Thursday and I always
enjoy our conversations as Bob is thoughtful and insightful man.
When Bob talks, I listen.
At this one particular lunch I was telling Bob about my dad, who left when I was 6, and how it had been decades since I last saw him.
That on my 40th birthday a card and letter arrived from my dad telling me of his regrets, that a lot of water had passed under the bridge, and that he would love to visit. Reading his words didn’t provoke any emotions, the anger of him leaving us had long since gone, but I didn’t feel the need for a reunion either. The letter went into a drawer and I never replied.
Bob asked why; I told him that “at this point in my life I didn’t feel the need for father”. He nodded and then thoughtfully responded, “ya, but maybe he has a need for a son”.
It was like I had just been struck by lighting. I got it.
I found out where my dad was living and made arrangements to go see him.
But he died before I got there.
Regrets don’t come from the things we do, sure there are things we won’t do a second time, but we learn from them, there was a lesson in there for us.
The true regrets come from the things that we don’t do.
You too may be at a point in your life where you don’t feel the need for a father, but maybe you have a father who needs you.
Something to think about.
Happy Fathers Day dad.
When Bob talks, I listen.
At this one particular lunch I was telling Bob about my dad, who left when I was 6, and how it had been decades since I last saw him.
That on my 40th birthday a card and letter arrived from my dad telling me of his regrets, that a lot of water had passed under the bridge, and that he would love to visit. Reading his words didn’t provoke any emotions, the anger of him leaving us had long since gone, but I didn’t feel the need for a reunion either. The letter went into a drawer and I never replied.
Bob asked why; I told him that “at this point in my life I didn’t feel the need for father”. He nodded and then thoughtfully responded, “ya, but maybe he has a need for a son”.
It was like I had just been struck by lighting. I got it.
I found out where my dad was living and made arrangements to go see him.
But he died before I got there.
Regrets don’t come from the things we do, sure there are things we won’t do a second time, but we learn from them, there was a lesson in there for us.
The true regrets come from the things that we don’t do.
You too may be at a point in your life where you don’t feel the need for a father, but maybe you have a father who needs you.
Something to think about.
Happy Fathers Day dad.
(me & my dad)
3 comments:
Thanks very much for sharing your story, Scott. Quite a lesson there.
Scott
Poignant post. Wow, I've never heard it put that way but you are correct. Some of the biggest regrets I have in my life are the things I didn't do. All the times in my adult life that my Father asked me to go fishing with him and I was just too busy.
That still haunts me.
Love your posts and your work.
Regards,
Dave
Thank you... and thanks for spending some of your time here with me.
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