Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Fathers Day thought...

A couple months back, just before I turned 52, I was having lunch with my friend Bob, we have lunch weekly and I always enjoy our conversations as Bob is thoughtful and insightful man.

When Bob talks, I listen.

At this particular lunch I was telling Bob about my dad, who left when I was 6, and how it had been decades since I last saw him.

That on my 40th birthday a card and letter arrived from my dad telling me of his regrets, that a lot of water had passed under the bridge, and that he would love to visit. Reading his words didn’t provoke any emotions, the anger of him leaving us had long since gone, but I didn’t feel the need for a reunion either. The letter went into a drawer and I never replied.

Bob asked why; I told him that “at this point in my life I didn’t feel the need for father”. Bob nodded thoughtfully then responded, “ya, but maybe he has a need for a son”.

It was like I had been struck by lighting. I got it.

I found out where my dad was living and made arrangements to go see him.

He died before I got there.

Regrets don’t come from the things we do, sure there are things we won’t do again, but we learn from them, there was a lesson there somewhere for us.

The true regret comes from the things we don’t do.

You too may be at a point in your life where you don’t feel the need for a father, but maybe your dad needs you.

Something to think about.

Happy Fathers Day dad.
(dad & me)

5 comments:

onyboy said...

Thank you for that post. I'm sorry to hear about your father's passing.

David said...

Only God can understand why things happen the way they do. Sorry you didn't get to hook up with your Father......

Heather said...

Very interesting read. I am estranged from my father right now by his choice. This is indeed interesting.

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Anita Jesse said...

What a profound post. It's certainly true for me that it's the things I could have done, but didn't that get me down.

Harold said...

As a step, foster, and adoptive parent I can only say that this issue is huge and worthy of serious consideration of both parents and children. Understanding this is key to understanding the problems of our times.